Percy bolted for the kitchen cupboard and flung the huge oak doors open. The ancient hinges squealed in protest. Percy’s burley arms reached into the darkness of the cupboard and came out holding an athletic brunette co-ed, dressed in a skimpy string bikini. She held a half-empty beer mug in one hand and a smoldering cigarette in the other. Percy looked to Nana with an expectant look on his innocent face.
“I want this, Nana,” he announced, with a rabid look in his eye.
“Nana, can I have a snack,” Percy asked. He put on his best smile, knowing this was the one that always fetched the prize. Nana could rarely resist its charm.
“Well…I suppose so,” Nana replied. “What did you have in mind, deary?”
“Heavens no, sugar-pie,” Nana said. “That will rot your virtuous soul in no time flat. Choose something else, dear.”
“Fine,” Percy mumbled as he tossed the co-ed back into the dark cupboard. A falling scream echoed through the blackness of the cupboard.
As he rummaged through the darkness, Nana watched from behind the old weathered open cupboard door. After centuries, Percy still craved the meaningless fancies of life. A knowing smile lit the corners of Nana’s crow’s-foot cheeks. Her deep ocean blue eyes sparkled like sunlight reflecting off the sea. Patience was her virtue.
“Ah ha,” Percy yelled.
His voice echoed in the dark vast space of the cupboard. He emerged holding five large burlap sacks. Each was emblazoned with a green dollar sign. Piles of stacked large-face bills spilled from the bags.
“Can I have this, Nana?”
“I’m afraid not, sweet heart. That will ruin your heart. Try something else.”
Percy shoved the money-bags back into the abyss and rummaged once more. Banging and clanging resonated through the kitchen. Percy labored with a heavy object. From her vantage point, Nana could see her grandson’s muscled back straining to lift something large. He emerged from the darkness, carrying the front end of an expensive luxury car. The back-end of the vehicle was still lost in the nether regions of the cupboard.
“How about this, Nana? Can I have this, for a snack? It’s loaded with iron.” Percy flashed the winning smile again.
“No, my dear. Nana doesn’t want her grandson to consume toys, either. The toys will poison your sense of humility. Do you have anything else?”
Percy was livid. His lips pursed together in a tight thin line. He shoved the car back into the cupboard, and there was a horrendous crash of metal somewhere in the abyss. Once again, he rummaged through the darkness.
“No, not that; no, she’ll say, ‘no guns’; nope…no drunken parties; no, that won’t work either,” Percy’s voice echoed through the deep dark. Finally, he emerged holding a Koran; an uneasy smile affixed across his face.
“How about,” he started. Nana snapped suddenly and vividly.
“No, Percy!” Her voice boomed like thunderclap over desert plains. “I’m sorry sweetheart. Nana didn’t mean to startle you. That junk food will slowly destroy your delicate sensibilities, from the inside out. Definitely not.”
Defeated, Percy slowly turned toward the darkness and tossed the Koran into the cupboard. He shut the massive doors and hitched the latch. As he moped through the kitchen, Nana placed a loving hand gentle on his brawny shoulder.
“I’ve got just the thing for you, sweetheart.”
Nana, reached into the front pocket of her timeless apron. Percy watched her whole arm dive deep into the abyss of ages past. When she pulled out, she held a delectable Bible in her hand. Oh, how it smelled so yummy. Percy’s mouth watered as he watched the smoking Word. It was still hot, as if fresh from the oven. Yet Nana held on to it with the utmost care and diligence. She gently placed the golden morsel on a plate set at the kitchen table.
“Now this…this is a snack fit for my grandson,” she said. “Eat this, and you will be filled with the knowledge and wisdom of truth. That’s all Nana wants for her grandson; to grow up in the spirit of truth.”
“Can I have it all, Nana?”
“Take your time, and eat slowly, sweetheart. In time, you’ll have it all.”
Percy cut into the Bible. His knife slid through like warm butter. The first bite was pure heaven.