This morning, I walked into a gas station and stepped right in the middle of a spousal feud. It was pretty bad, I have to warn you. The husband was irate.
“You wanna know when I stopped lookin’ at you? When you started to get fat! You wanna know when you started gettin’ fat? When you got a smart phone! For four years, you ain’t got the time for me because you’re too busy *blank*in’ your phone and eatin’ snacks! That’s why I’m seein’ another woman! If my wife ain’t interested in givin’ me what I need anymore, someone else is glad to take care of me!”
Needless to say, I bought my Gatorade at another station…quickly. I got out of there, before I became witness to a murder. As bad as that scene was, it did give me a moment to think about why some marriages fail. As I said last night, sin constantly wants to destroy biblical marriage. Any number of trials could trigger danger in a relationship, but the big one (in my opinion) is infidelity.
Last night, my son and I attended a men’s group at church. During the discussion, our brother Steve spoke on God’s intent for a man and his wife. Steve said in not so many words, “God intends for the husband and wife to have eyes for each other. What he wants for us is to not be able to keep our hands off of the one who is for us.” In this case, I should have eyes and a burning desire for my wife: her only.
When I thought back to that train-wreck I’d just witnessed in the gas station, I was reminded of just how far away from the biblical purpose of marriage that guy had fallen. He not only turned his eyes and desires to another woman; he loathed his wife. Her waistline and eating habits might have posed some difficulties in their marriage, but I got the feeling that he hadn’t really tried to work things out. Almost as if those qualities were his justified excuse for stepping out.
Marriage is work. Yep…I’m reiterating what was already said last night. Marriage is (sometimes) hard work. Chances are, 20 years after the wedding, we might look a little heavier or move a little slower. Maybe the fires of our youthful desire need a little stoking to rekindle. Whatever it takes, under God. Folks, we have to protect our marriages. Husbands need to adore their wives and wives need to cherish their husbands, because the enemy of biblical marriage is out there…winning. I saw it today. I almost experienced it personally, a few short years ago. Had it not been for God’s Devine intervention, this might be a totally different type of post.
I think sometimes we need to put our own wants aside and do for our spouse. If I know my wife desires something, but I purposely and frequently deny her, am I not setting our marriage up for failure? The reality is that temptation is real. If she’s not satisfied—whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually—I’m making temptation that much more appealing to her. I have to put my selfish desires to rest and give her whatever she needs. It shouldn’t have to be a “job” to do so, either. I should do it because I want to please her.
We have to fight for our marriages.